Take your moral outrage and save it for something really shocking, America.
Tiger Woods could cheat on his wife with every golf-groupie from Augusta to Torrey Pines and, still, it is not shocking. David Letterman can (and maybe will) sleep with every giggly intern at CBS -- still not shocking. And Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock? Come on, people! That guy has "bad boy" written all over him.
A lot of Americans, according to the media, are shocked and appalled at the sexual shenanigans of these celebrity husbands. And we seem to feel we have the right to know about the deep secrets of any celebrities' marriage, right? The celebrities do benefit from all of the vapid interest in their private lives. Right up until they screw up (no pun intended), the celebs kinda enjoy letting us see how fabulous their lives are. Yep, right up until they mess it up.
Then they really just want their privacy. They plead with us to give them time and space to work out their problems. Blah, blah, blah. You can not open up your life when it benefits you and your career, then try to lock everyone out when the ugly reality seeps out.
And we Americans just play right along with this little freak show. We buy the stupid magazines showing us "how the celebrities live", we watch E! TV, we even read the freaking National Enquirer, always seeking more and more information about celebrities, their private lives, their inner thoughts. It's nothing new, fans have obsessed over movie stars and other famous people for a long time.
What has changed, however, is America itself. We know our Presidents are capable of cheating on their spouses, even right in the White House. We have seen movie stars have long-term adulterous relationships and, hell, we kind of thought it was romantic -- remember Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn? They're often cited as one of the biggest romances in Hollywood, despite the fact that Tracy was married throughout their relationship.
Another thing that has changed in America is how we view relationships. It might surprise the more upright, uptight of us that some people choose to NOT live monogomous, faithful lives. There are open marriages, "arrangements", whatever you want to call them, and like it or not, they work for some people.
Think about this: If you found out your neighbor was cheating on his wife, would you demand that he tell you all about it? And then would you expect an apology? I mean, the guy does borrow your rake every fall and your families have barbecues together, don't you have the right to every bit of information about his relationships? I think not.
If it were me, I'd want to know nothing. Nothing, I tell you. As a matter of fact, if any of my friends are reading this, never, ever tell me you are cheating on your spouse. I can not keep a secret and besides that, ewww. Now I have this awful picture of you cheating with some bimbo. Gah. TMI!!
But would I be shocked if I found out? For a few minutes. Then I'd say, OK, how do I remove this information from my memory banks? I do not want to know this. But we sure want to know details about celebrities!
Live and let live, America. If Mrs. Tiger Woods wants to kick his cheating ass out of their big old mansion, that's up to her. But as for the condemnation and shock and disapproval people are expressing? Hogwash. No one is really going to stop watching Letterman at night, Tiger as he wins yet another golf tournament, or Jesse James as he flexes and bad-boy pouts his way through whatever he does next.
And that's the way it should be. Yes, they're celebrities, but they owe the public nothing. Not even an explanation. And definitely not the apologies all three men have proferred. Save it for your wives, guys. This is between the two of you, not the two of you and all of America.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Bigger than Life
It's in the news again and my God are we ever going to just get over ourselves?
Movie director Kevin Smith, who I really can't imagine identifying as obese, was in the news recently when Southwest Airlines required him to buy two tickets, due to his size. He bought the tickets, then decided to fly stand-by. Suddenly there was only one seat open and Smith was out of luck. He had been agreeable to buying two seats, but gosh, they just couldn't find two seats on the stand-by flight.
As if it is a new phenomenon, the media is back to talking about fat people and airplanes. Talk about beating a dead horse. It's been hashed and re-hashed, and horror stories traded on both sides. There seems to be no solution.
And, according to comments Smith made after the debacle, he is not impressed with the media's handling of his mistreatment by the airlines. He told the Los Angeles Times, "I was unfairly bounced and discriminated against, but they never bothered to tell that story. They just went with the easy fat jokes."
Today, I'm going to tell you the straight story about this supposed problem.
Yes, there are fat people in the world. Yes, they want to ride on airplanes, just like the thinner folks do. And, yeah, those seats are too damn little for the fat people, so our bottoms do tend to edge over into the next seat. Sometimes we fat people have to wear a seat belt extension. Sometimes airlines make us buy two seats.
Those are the facts that we just know from living as fat people. Here's a few more facts that rarely get discussed:
1. The industry standard seat width is 17". Southwest Airlines, the airline who seems to most often ask customers to buy two seats, has seats where the cushions are 18.25" wide.
2. An article on the Center for Disease Control's website says about one-third of all Americans are obese -- not just fat, but obese, which is defined as having a Body Mass Index of 30% or higher.
3. The butt width of a person with 50 percent BMI (ahem, that would be me) is about 24 inches. That's 7 inches bigger than the average seat.
So, 30 percent of us are obese, with butt widths greater than the 17 inches provided by airlines. But 60 percent of you are not obese. You may be overweight, underweight, average weight, but you're not obese. So, it is assumed, you can fit into a 17" wide seat. Good for you!
Oh, one more fact, and I have no source for it, it's just a fact: Everyone pays the same amount for a particular seat, no matter what their size. So that obese man in the middle seat paid the same amount his skinnier neighbor would pay for sitting in the same seat, same flight, same airline. Unless the fat man was forced to buy two seats, well, then that obese man in the uncomfortable middle seat and also the window seat paid TWICE what Skinny Sam paid for that middle seat, same flight, same airline.
Okay, now I'm out of facts and into questions: If that same man, weighing the same amount, was muscled and tall, instead of short and obese, would he be asked to buy two seats because his big shoulders and arms are spreading out into his neighbors' seats? In my experience the answer is no. Last flight I was on, the man sitting next to me was huge -- he was buff and tall and just a helluva big guy. His shoulders were definitely in my personal space. As were his legs, which he did not seem to be able to control, as they were splayed out into my space and the space of the woman in the window seat.
He was a very nice man and we chatted amiably, but I did get tired of his shoulder brushing my ear and his knee leaning against mine. Seriously, his shoulder was level with my ear -- the guy was huge. Did I say anything to him about this? Hell no. What would I say? "Hey, Buff Guy, your gorgeous, well-built physique is too big. You should have bought two seats."
No, I would not. First off, I am not rude. I would not comment on someone's body size in any situation. I don't ask thin people if they need a sandwich and I don't ask really well-built men why they don't get rid of some of those damned muscles so other people can be comfy in their airline seats.
But when the shoe is on the other foot . . .
If you're one of those skinny, snarky airline passengers, ask yourself: Do you believe it is rude to ask a fat person to get their body out of your space? Or to call the stewardess over and complain to her, in the hearing of the fat person? Do you honestly feel that fat people should have to buy two seats so their bodies do not impinge on anyone else's space? If you do feel that way, do you really need to express that to the fat person?
Any discussion of obesity and plane travel generally includes comments about that sweaty, dirty looking fat woman someone sat next to on their last flight. Or the hugely fat man whose butt touched their neighbor's butt throughout the trip.
Let me tell you, I've ridden on planes next to skinny little hippie girls, overly perfumed soccer moms and busy bees who bring their work with them, setting up a mini office right there in coach. None of these were enjoyable, but, gosh, believe it or not, none of them were obese! One stunk, one stunk of higher-priced stink and the other one pushed his papers and folders into my space, mumbling to himself the whole time.
But I did not complain to them nor did I call over the stewardess to complain. I just told myself "hey, it's just an hour or so, then I am off this plane." Kind of like what a grown-up would do in the same situation. I'm beginning to think this obesity-bashing is less a concern for anyone's welfare than just plain bad manners. Do you think the skinnies really care if we all lose weight and live healthy lives? Nah, they just don't want your bum touching their bum.
Have you gone to a rock concert or a sporting event lately? They pack the fans in like sardines! Your tush will definitely be in contact with someone else's tush before the night is over. Yet no one complains! No one says "This fat guy was sitting next to me at the football game and I was just so uncomfortable!" Nope. Folks just cheer for their team, eat another hot dog, wave their big foam fingers and get on with enjoying the game.
Trust me, as an obese person, I really, really wish my bum did not flow over the edges of my seat. Wait, let me rephrase that: I wish airplane seats were wide enough to accomodate my fat ass. Seven inches would do it.
Then the skinnies could fly in their little bubble of untouchability and we obese folks can get a break from all the dirty looks, jackass comments and society-inflicted guilt. And we could fly without the damned armrest poking us in the hip the whole flight.
I've heard people say that since it's just a lack of self-control and laziness that causes obesity, obese people are, well, sort of disgusting. And they should not fly on airplanes if they are so fat. When I fly, I usually don't have time to drop 50 or 60 pounds by flight time. It's usually about one month ahead when I buy my ticket and, truly, I would ask for the "fat seats" if they were available.
And I'm neither lazy nor do I lack self-control. I'm a big girl, yep, but I'm no sweaty, dirty hog shoving peanuts into my maw and sloshing down free sodas. When I fly, I am well-dressed, I carry a small purse and a small carry-on bag, which I store properly in the overhead bin, not trying to force it under the seat so I can get off the plane faster.
I also try not to visit with people who are obviously not wanting to chat, and I try to keep myself squeezed into my seat in as small a lump as I can. Even while someone's baby is screaming at full blast, tinny music coming out of the hippie chick's earbuds is imitating an annoying mosquito and a really tall guy's knees are forcing me to sit nearly sideways in the seat.
It's only an hour or two out of my life. I can live with it. I can call upon my good manners and not shoot dirty looks at anyone, not whisper loudly to anyone sitting nearby that the hippie chick smells like patchouli and I will not tell the tall man to push his knees together for God's sake.
But, then, I was raised with good manners.
Movie director Kevin Smith, who I really can't imagine identifying as obese, was in the news recently when Southwest Airlines required him to buy two tickets, due to his size. He bought the tickets, then decided to fly stand-by. Suddenly there was only one seat open and Smith was out of luck. He had been agreeable to buying two seats, but gosh, they just couldn't find two seats on the stand-by flight.
As if it is a new phenomenon, the media is back to talking about fat people and airplanes. Talk about beating a dead horse. It's been hashed and re-hashed, and horror stories traded on both sides. There seems to be no solution.
And, according to comments Smith made after the debacle, he is not impressed with the media's handling of his mistreatment by the airlines. He told the Los Angeles Times, "I was unfairly bounced and discriminated against, but they never bothered to tell that story. They just went with the easy fat jokes."
Today, I'm going to tell you the straight story about this supposed problem.
Yes, there are fat people in the world. Yes, they want to ride on airplanes, just like the thinner folks do. And, yeah, those seats are too damn little for the fat people, so our bottoms do tend to edge over into the next seat. Sometimes we fat people have to wear a seat belt extension. Sometimes airlines make us buy two seats.
Those are the facts that we just know from living as fat people. Here's a few more facts that rarely get discussed:
1. The industry standard seat width is 17". Southwest Airlines, the airline who seems to most often ask customers to buy two seats, has seats where the cushions are 18.25" wide.
2. An article on the Center for Disease Control's website says about one-third of all Americans are obese -- not just fat, but obese, which is defined as having a Body Mass Index of 30% or higher.
3. The butt width of a person with 50 percent BMI (ahem, that would be me) is about 24 inches. That's 7 inches bigger than the average seat.
So, 30 percent of us are obese, with butt widths greater than the 17 inches provided by airlines. But 60 percent of you are not obese. You may be overweight, underweight, average weight, but you're not obese. So, it is assumed, you can fit into a 17" wide seat. Good for you!
Oh, one more fact, and I have no source for it, it's just a fact: Everyone pays the same amount for a particular seat, no matter what their size. So that obese man in the middle seat paid the same amount his skinnier neighbor would pay for sitting in the same seat, same flight, same airline. Unless the fat man was forced to buy two seats, well, then that obese man in the uncomfortable middle seat and also the window seat paid TWICE what Skinny Sam paid for that middle seat, same flight, same airline.
Okay, now I'm out of facts and into questions: If that same man, weighing the same amount, was muscled and tall, instead of short and obese, would he be asked to buy two seats because his big shoulders and arms are spreading out into his neighbors' seats? In my experience the answer is no. Last flight I was on, the man sitting next to me was huge -- he was buff and tall and just a helluva big guy. His shoulders were definitely in my personal space. As were his legs, which he did not seem to be able to control, as they were splayed out into my space and the space of the woman in the window seat.
He was a very nice man and we chatted amiably, but I did get tired of his shoulder brushing my ear and his knee leaning against mine. Seriously, his shoulder was level with my ear -- the guy was huge. Did I say anything to him about this? Hell no. What would I say? "Hey, Buff Guy, your gorgeous, well-built physique is too big. You should have bought two seats."
No, I would not. First off, I am not rude. I would not comment on someone's body size in any situation. I don't ask thin people if they need a sandwich and I don't ask really well-built men why they don't get rid of some of those damned muscles so other people can be comfy in their airline seats.
But when the shoe is on the other foot . . .
If you're one of those skinny, snarky airline passengers, ask yourself: Do you believe it is rude to ask a fat person to get their body out of your space? Or to call the stewardess over and complain to her, in the hearing of the fat person? Do you honestly feel that fat people should have to buy two seats so their bodies do not impinge on anyone else's space? If you do feel that way, do you really need to express that to the fat person?
Any discussion of obesity and plane travel generally includes comments about that sweaty, dirty looking fat woman someone sat next to on their last flight. Or the hugely fat man whose butt touched their neighbor's butt throughout the trip.
Let me tell you, I've ridden on planes next to skinny little hippie girls, overly perfumed soccer moms and busy bees who bring their work with them, setting up a mini office right there in coach. None of these were enjoyable, but, gosh, believe it or not, none of them were obese! One stunk, one stunk of higher-priced stink and the other one pushed his papers and folders into my space, mumbling to himself the whole time.
But I did not complain to them nor did I call over the stewardess to complain. I just told myself "hey, it's just an hour or so, then I am off this plane." Kind of like what a grown-up would do in the same situation. I'm beginning to think this obesity-bashing is less a concern for anyone's welfare than just plain bad manners. Do you think the skinnies really care if we all lose weight and live healthy lives? Nah, they just don't want your bum touching their bum.
Have you gone to a rock concert or a sporting event lately? They pack the fans in like sardines! Your tush will definitely be in contact with someone else's tush before the night is over. Yet no one complains! No one says "This fat guy was sitting next to me at the football game and I was just so uncomfortable!" Nope. Folks just cheer for their team, eat another hot dog, wave their big foam fingers and get on with enjoying the game.
Trust me, as an obese person, I really, really wish my bum did not flow over the edges of my seat. Wait, let me rephrase that: I wish airplane seats were wide enough to accomodate my fat ass. Seven inches would do it.
Then the skinnies could fly in their little bubble of untouchability and we obese folks can get a break from all the dirty looks, jackass comments and society-inflicted guilt. And we could fly without the damned armrest poking us in the hip the whole flight.
I've heard people say that since it's just a lack of self-control and laziness that causes obesity, obese people are, well, sort of disgusting. And they should not fly on airplanes if they are so fat. When I fly, I usually don't have time to drop 50 or 60 pounds by flight time. It's usually about one month ahead when I buy my ticket and, truly, I would ask for the "fat seats" if they were available.
And I'm neither lazy nor do I lack self-control. I'm a big girl, yep, but I'm no sweaty, dirty hog shoving peanuts into my maw and sloshing down free sodas. When I fly, I am well-dressed, I carry a small purse and a small carry-on bag, which I store properly in the overhead bin, not trying to force it under the seat so I can get off the plane faster.
I also try not to visit with people who are obviously not wanting to chat, and I try to keep myself squeezed into my seat in as small a lump as I can. Even while someone's baby is screaming at full blast, tinny music coming out of the hippie chick's earbuds is imitating an annoying mosquito and a really tall guy's knees are forcing me to sit nearly sideways in the seat.
It's only an hour or two out of my life. I can live with it. I can call upon my good manners and not shoot dirty looks at anyone, not whisper loudly to anyone sitting nearby that the hippie chick smells like patchouli and I will not tell the tall man to push his knees together for God's sake.
But, then, I was raised with good manners.
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