Who's Cheating Who?

Take your moral outrage and save it for something really shocking, America.

Tiger Woods could cheat on his wife with every golf-groupie from Augusta to Torrey Pines and, still, it is not shocking. David Letterman can (and maybe will) sleep with every giggly intern at CBS -- still not shocking. And Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock? Come on, people! That guy has "bad boy" written all over him.

A lot of Americans, according to the media, are shocked and appalled at the sexual shenanigans of these celebrity husbands. And we seem to feel we have the right to know about the deep secrets of any celebrities' marriage, right? The celebrities do benefit from all of the vapid interest in their private lives. Right up until they screw up (no pun intended), the celebs kinda enjoy letting us see how fabulous their lives are. Yep, right up until they mess it up.

Then they really just want their privacy. They plead with us to give them time and space to work out their problems. Blah, blah, blah. You can not open up your life when it benefits you and your career, then try to lock everyone out when the ugly reality seeps out.

And we Americans just play right along with this little freak show. We buy the stupid magazines showing us "how the celebrities live", we watch E! TV, we even read the freaking National Enquirer, always seeking more and more information about celebrities, their private lives, their inner thoughts. It's nothing new, fans have obsessed over movie stars and other famous people for a long time.

What has changed, however, is America itself. We know our Presidents are capable of cheating on their spouses, even right in the White House. We have seen movie stars have long-term adulterous relationships and, hell, we kind of thought it was romantic -- remember Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn? They're often cited as one of the biggest romances in Hollywood, despite the fact that Tracy was married throughout their relationship.

Another thing that has changed in America is how we view relationships. It might surprise the more upright, uptight of us that some people choose to NOT live monogomous, faithful lives. There are open marriages, "arrangements", whatever you want to call them, and like it or not, they work for some people.

Think about this: If you found out your neighbor was cheating on his wife, would you demand that he tell you all about it? And then would you expect an apology? I mean, the guy does borrow your rake every fall and your families have barbecues together, don't you have the right to every bit of information about his relationships? I think not.

If it were me, I'd want to know nothing. Nothing, I tell you. As a matter of fact, if any of my friends are reading this, never, ever tell me you are cheating on your spouse. I can not keep a secret and besides that, ewww. Now I have this awful picture of you cheating with some bimbo. Gah. TMI!!

But would I be shocked if I found out? For a few minutes. Then I'd say, OK, how do I remove this information from my memory banks? I do not want to know this. But we sure want to know details about celebrities!

Live and let live, America. If Mrs. Tiger Woods wants to kick his cheating ass out of their big old mansion, that's up to her. But as for the condemnation and shock and disapproval people are expressing? Hogwash. No one is really going to stop watching Letterman at night, Tiger as he wins yet another golf tournament, or Jesse James as he flexes and bad-boy pouts his way through whatever he does next.

And that's the way it should be. Yes, they're celebrities, but they owe the public nothing. Not even an explanation. And definitely not the apologies all three men have proferred. Save it for your wives, guys. This is between the two of you, not the two of you and all of America.